During the Oprah Deepak meditation of yesterday, Oprah was talking about the now moment. Earlier in the series, Deepak had discussed meditation bringing up our sleeping dragons. I would term those moments "the dark"
The dark we learn to run away from in childhood - whatever it is, hard feelings, moments of indecisions or self-doubt, times when our Soul does not quite connect with us and we grow afraid. I think also that people tend to have dark times of day - or rather a time of day when their dark thoughts are more likely to appear. For many it is 5 am - and for me, it is often late afternoon and evening or any time I face a task I really feel anxious about doing. Then I become restless and moody and have learned for decades to salve those feelings with sweets or carbohydrates - in enough quantity to dull the pressures of it so I can move on. and be productive.
Productivity is a great balm for me to darkness - the focus and accomplishment of it and the boost in energy brought on by the sweet or carb allows me to climb over the hump. So what would I find if I didn't use that ladder and chose to remain in the pit and explore it? Scary thoughts indeed.
Deepak would guide us that our True Selves are easy and gentle healers - so maybe staying in the pit would be like lighting a candle and the darkness would simply proceed. But where would I find that candle? Likely meditation will give me ideas about that. My commitment then is to say "bring it on" and to spend today fully feeling those dark thoughts when they arise and to meditate when they grow uncomfortable and I feel antsy.
Giving it a few moments today, fully anticipating release and freedom, but unable to not act out of the patterns from before I realize that when we need to heal, it is difficult to think about health but rather we think about the illness. How am I to move on when my body continues to send the signals that for decades have caused a response? Hard stuff - dragons indeed.
Stay tuned and we'll see where this leads - can it really be as easy as the meditations suggest? Am I ready for it to be that easy and to evolve in this new way? Are my dragons ready to crumble so I can be free of them?