For those who don't know, Margie and I listen as we go to sleep and first thing in the morning to one of the Deepak/Oprah 21 day meditation series - we have done so for going on four years. We both will tell you that nothing in our lives has ever made such a long-lasting positive change in our life experience. We own them all and have listened to them over and over as the mood strikes - frequently relistening to a series or part of a series immediately again when the lessons were particularly apt. I can say that my ability to cruise into old age happy and satisfied is because of this work, and for that, I am truly grateful.
The series we are on is Shedding the weight which they did a few years ago - weight not just physical weight but emotional, mental, and spiritual as well. The am Deepak said that all weight is caused by the prisons in our minds - where we trapped part of ourselves at an early age - step 1 realize those prisons, step 2 realize that we are not that person anymore, step 3 free them - let it go. However, we accomplish those steps will change for all of us but for me, this writing is that process.
Physical weight has always been the prison in which I put myself, -not that I suffer from a poor self-image or have held myself back because of it - but as I grow older my bones would like it if I hauled around a few less pounds. So what's the prison? Family jumps to mind. Not feeling loved, being criticized over and over with few accolades to balance the negative inputs. I'm sure many can relate, and perhaps even more so for those of us driven to be more than, a brighter star, someone who pushes limits because then the family would push back harder to keep us in line.
When I look at my birth family and compare our relations to those values I hold dear, namely love, close relationship, supportive community, etc. I think that over half of my siblings have failed pretty miserably - and for one brother and myself who are blessed to be living with tender families around us have both had the good fortune to marry the right person, who taught us to become the loving people we are. For my dearest oldest sister her work was social work with cancer patients and so that was likely her path. It is one of the treasures of my life that as she grows old she has finally found the support that works for her and who treasures her as she deserves.
Step one -realize the prison - family comments that I internalized and protected myself from with weight and the physical medication of carbs to endorphins
Step two - acknowledge that I am not that person any longer and NOWHERE in my life do I get the message to be less than I am or that I am too much. That's really old news. So I think its time fore
Step three - let that childhood memory go - it served and now it doesn't - my birth relationships are what they are - they feed my soul or they don't. My task is to build the good inputs that will protect my body and my health for as long as I am blessed to be in this world. Love does that - so next up will be how to give me more love. I suspect that little girl has been in that prison so long she isn't just going to go skipping down the lane.
Here's to anyone who ever reads this who can relate - may your prison sentence be over as well.